Of The Same Book

by: Atasha Borbon, Pauline Plaza, Nanet Abad and Keith Repolido

[An adaptation of The Fault In Our Stars]

A sixteen-year old girl, with the name Freya, was someone that we could say has the personality of someone who is quite confusing. She’s got dark blue manicured nails, a boyish haircut and some tubes for her nose so she could breathe. She suffers the feeling of being out of place; but not because of cool kids or family problems, which they don’t have. Rather it was because of one thing. Lung Cancer. Out of all the reasons. What makes it suck is when suddenly something like a liquid fluid blocks the airways and you have to force it open again, which can result to heavy and rapid breathing which freaks out your mother in sending you to the hospital and hearing the news of limited days. Then you have to carry a bag containing not books or school supplies, but instead an oxygen tank- the source of your life. And feeling different, she knew she can never experience more because of her current state. The second part, yes the one above is the first, is her dad. He had died just before her sixteenth birthday. But it wasn’t that long as they were just fixing his things when Freya found this first edition book titled ‘Imperial Affliction’. It was not just the book about cancer that got her attention, rather it was the little message for his daughter. This gave her quotes which she finds quite relating; so for her, Freya does not see death as something to be feared.

Freya was currently scanning the online book reviews of Imperial Affliction. Some of which are her comments and so many other more. But then, there was this one guy. And his message was “I think the book is missing its last two pages. Needs to reconsider some additions.” That got her attention so she replied, trying to explain about the book and it seems that Freya couldn’t help but notice, he was mostly replying to her. Just a few days after, Freya had to be taken to the hospital because of another attack. But thankfully it was minor and not that severe. Her friend, Saac, heard the news and had messaged that he would visit her. Freya’s mother had left to check on things, leaving her alone. It wasn’t that long though when Saac finally showed up. And accompanying him was another guy, notably wearing a leather brown jacket, who introduced himself as Guston Waterson. He was eighteen years old and had cancer that cost him his right leg, which he reveals a right metal prosthetic covered by his pants. However, he is not bothered and says it makes him feel greater. Saac soon excused himself and went to the comfort room. Now the atmosphere felt awkward, and when Freya would look at him, he looked at her and had that smile. He’s very positive Freya thought and asked “Why are you staring at me?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

‘Whoa. What the…’ was probably what Freya was showing on her face. Did she believe it? Slightly. Then he got out a cigarette and stuck it between his teeth. “Really? You have cancer and even lost a leg, yet you’re still smoking? and is that not allowed inside the hospital?” Freya said. But Gus answered,

“I put the killing between my teeth, but I didn’t give it the power to kill. It’s a metaphor.”

Metaphor indeed it was. Freya realized what that meant. And it was in everything around us, it is up to us what to do with it. The way Freya sees Gus was something like ‘He was a positive guy despite being in a state of circumstances.’ Finally, Saac arrived and he said “I forgot to tell you something. I actually am going to have my eyes removed due to an infection.” Freya was shocked at the news. She have not heard about it. “I’m sorry” was all she could say. After just a few minutes, Freya’s mother arrived with a doctor while Gus got a bottle of one of my medical prescriptions. “I’m sorry to interrupt this visit”, he said. “But we have to check her medical conditions once more.” All Saac could do was nod his head, “We understand, Mrs. Lancey. We’d best be going.” And just like that, he and Gus left after Gus placed the bottle back in the desk.

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“Her lungs are steady for now,” the doctor told Freya and her mother earlier. Although there is still some slight uneasiness, Freya was able to shrug it off. The doctor then took his leave after saying his “Good Day” to both of them. They were already packed up and ready to leave when suddenly..

“Mom! Where’s my book?”

“What book, sweet pea?” her mother asked.

“The ‘Imperial Affliction’. I brought it with me.”

Freya went to the desk and was about to stuff all her medicine bottles in the bag when one of the prescription bottles had a text in it. Confused, Freya read the note and it said

‘You lost something? I think I know where it is.

That is, if you call me.’

And beside it was his number. At that moment, that’s when Hazel realized something, and she is going to deal with it by the time she reaches home.

Freya slumped unto her bed upon entering her room, fished out her iphone and pulled out the note where it had the number. When she punched the numbers and it ringed three times, the first thing she heard from the other side of the line was “Freya Lancey!” ‘Yup, even his voice speaks out his self’ Freya thought. She wanted to yell at him but figured that maybe a good introduction won’t hurt.

“Guston Waterson”, she said after she took a breath, telling herself to calm down.

“I see you have cracked the code. I’m sorry. I did not know how to get your attention.”

“You always get my attention. Now may I please have my book back?” Freya added the last part.

“Hmm. I have seen your father’s letter. And I assume it is precious to you.”

‘Of course it is.’ Freya thought to herself as she rolled her eyes. ‘Who wouldn’t?’

“Well, you can have it”, Gus said. “As long as you agree to dare yourself to date me.”

Freya scoffed and chuckled with disbelief. “Guston Waterson, we just met and I barely even know you.”

“And that is why we are going on a date right?” Gus said innocently. From the other side of the line, Gus was smiling with one hand placing his phone at his ear and the other holding Freya’s ‘Imperial Affliction’ with the letter still where it was.

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It was one of the many passing days of Freya and Gus talking on the phone about Imperial Affliction. Since her book was with him, Freya suggested for him to read it; though Gus said he had and that “It seems that it was missing its ten pages.” ‘Ten pages?’ she thought and tried to recall reading it from somewhere. It was just a few minutes when she realized..

“You’re the same new guy in the book review. Aren’t you?” Freya asked.

“Yup that was me. Wait, how did you know?” Gus said.

And so Freya revealed about her being the person who commented on his post. Of course Gus sounded like he was about explode that Freya couldn’t help her smile upon listening to him on the phone.

“Huh. Well, now I want to recommend you a book.” Gus said.

“A book? What book?” Now Freya was getting interested.

So Gus talked about ‘Counter Insurgence’ and that he can let her borrow it if she wants to come at his house, which she said yes without hesitation. And before they could end their conversation, “See you then Freya Lancey!” Gus said.

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The next day was exactly as planned. Freya was walking in the calm and peaceful sidewalk, heading to the church. The destination wasn’t really that far and can be managed by walking albeit her mother suggested taking her by their car yet she told her that she can manage it. She had already neared her destination when Gus arrived with a pick-up truck and greeting her with his signature beaming face. She climbed in and they went off. Apparently Gus had failed his driver’s license, yet he was driving. They arrived inside his house, seeing quotes in every wall and his parents greeted them like they already knew each other. He escorted her to his basement of an abode, which Freya had to take a few breaks because stairs affect her lungs. What surprised them was Saac lying on the floor, looking stoic. By the time they asked him, he was suddenly a madman; shouting out “Always! Always!” as he punched the pillows. Gus explained a confused Freya about Saac’s girlfriend, Nihca, and additionally implied that they broke up. He seemed to approve of Saac breaking his basketball trophies, as they were useless. But it seemed Gus had something more in mind when he said “Do you happen to have five dollars?”

A house with a green car was later seen as Gus, Saac and Freya got off. Without time to waste, Gus became the egg hander as Saac relentlessly threw eggs at the car. Their happy celebration would have ended had it not been for Gus’ talent of giving confusing speeches to Nihca’s mother, who just returned from where she came, which is the house. They laughed at his antics and when Saac was finally contented they immediately jumped and sped the car, not wanting to be caught by the police.

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Days passed as the trio got along. It was as if nothing that was negative really mattered, and cancer never existed. Freya and Gus were beginning to develop feelings for each other. One time when Freya’s mother offered them time in their house, both her mother and Saac teased saying that they’re adorable. Freya had to keep saying “Just friends” but Gus rather said, “Well she is; but I’m not.” Or so he thought.

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Saac had offered to bring Freya to the park called “Funky Bones”. Maybe it was how Gus wanted to call it or was it the owner, Freya will never know but nevertheless cared. She was about to ask him about it when Gus appeared saying “I got it!”

“Got it?” Freya looked at the boys, confused. “Got what?”

“Sooooo….” Gus started. “I have heard that Peter van Houten, the author of the ‘I-actually-think-it’s-boring-book’, has decided to make a world tour one last time.”

“What?! Really?!” Freya rocketed up from sitting and the expression she wore was priceless.

Gus nodded his head. “Yes, he did so….” yet he paused along the way, hesitating whether to say it. “..as a farewell ceremony. He is dying after a week.”

“Oh” Freya was quite distraught at the news and wondered about the joy of seeing her favorite author for the first and last time. ‘If I could see him at least’, she thought.

“Buuuut…..” Gus suddenly said and then he showed from behind his back with a mischievous look on his face. “I got us passes!”

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Freya smiled and still could not believe it. Girls and boys were lining up to have an opportunity with the author, whether book signing or talking. She looked at them with beaming joy. When her mother heard this news, she immediately offered them a ride to the venue, leaving an “Enjoy and have fun sweetie! I love you!” before departing. She and Saac had been waiting for what felt like a minute when Gus came back, telling them “Looks like we’ll get all the time we want once they’re gone.” And so to pass time, they ate and were planning on what questions they should ask the author. After what seemed like a couple of hours or so, there were no more people lining up and they realized that it was ten in the evening. Gus stood up, which Freya and Saac followed, and led them to the rendezvous where the author wanted to meet them, his very room. “This is your chance, Freya Lancey” he said to her with his signature look and then he knocked which was answered through a “Come in” from a voice Freya longed to personally hear.

Freya entered first inside the room and looked around until her eyes settled on a man seated comfortably on a chair. “Oh finally you are here!” the man, Peter van Houten, said enthusiastically. “Please have a seat” he gestured to three chairs and they complied.

“So I hear that both of you are longed fans of my book”, van Houten started, referring to Gus and Freya. “Well, I’m just a reader”, Gus admitted. “But Freya Lancey here is one of your die-hard fans with cancer who has been longing to meet you.” He then gestured to Freya, who blushed with admiration. Upon hearing the word cancer, Peter van Houten’s face immediately darkened, contrasting his recent optimistic persona. Freya, Gus and Saac looked at each other, wondering what they did wrong. Gus tried to speak.

“I think what I just said disturbed you-”

“No it’s fine”, van Houten replied with a smile that didn’t exactly reach his eyes. “It’s just that….” He then stared at Freya, who looked at him. “You remind me so much of my daughter, Anna.” Freya then felt sympathy as she saw the author shed a few tears. The trio tried to console him; and after managing to make him feel better he explained his side of the story. Peter van Houten once had an eight-year old girl named Anna who died of cancer a few years ago. He wrote the ‘Imperial Affliction’ in order to transfer his depression towards it. But then it seems to have also taken his spirits of writing. And as the days passed, he had been silent. Not even his assistant, Lidewij, could help him. And because he had become alcoholic, some of his body systems had resigned and it was revealed that he had liver cancer. Lidewij implied to him to resume writing in hopes of raising money, but the author had decided to say farewell.

“Pain demands to be felt”, Peter van Houten ended with a quote from his book.

“It’s quite surprising you remembered it”, Freya said.

“You really want another book of that so badly”, van Houten told her which she nodded.

“I can’t really promise you that, Freya. For when the story is finished, it is up to you on how to see it next.”

The trio bid farewell to Peter van Houten and had exited the building. Saac told them that he can wait in the car while they have their time alone. Gus wanted to apologize for having that idea in the first place but was stopped when a pair of hands were in his face and the next thing he knew, Freya Lancey was giving him his first and hard kiss. It was breathless, but neither seemed to wish to break for it felt like heaven.

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The drive back home was silent. Gus looked at Freya’s sleeping form by his side as he drove with a smile. But then it happened so fast as lightning when he heard Saac shouting “Watch out!” and the last thing he saw was a blinding, bright light.

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Late in the winter of her seventeenth year, she decided to move out from the house. She wanted to become independent. Her mom hesitated at first because of her condition but she assured her that she will be fine, which is a lie. Living alone was a disaster—totally. Sunlight drifts into Freya’s dream as she shifted and the smell of old books turned into the smell of a newly brewed coffee. When she opened her eyes, the sight of gigantic tall shelves were replaced by what she soon realized was her room, but it was not the same as yesterday because of the bright yellow sticky notes pasted on every corner of the room; little reminders written on to it. She can’t recall every detail in the room.

The sight is unfamiliar but not strange, like something must have happened in this place before but it slipped through her memory. Maybe because it did, it slipped through her memory without her remembering that it did, at all. Little, bright, yellow sticky notes on the wall, on her table, on the nightstand beside her bed and even on the pillow right next to her made a little tinge of pain on both her eyes and brain. She props herself, clasping the nightstand so she could stand up slowly. Ash fuzzy carpet under bare toes, scent of fresh brewed coffee in the cafe next door.

“Your name is Freya Lancey. You have short-term memory loss, anterograde amnesia which means you can’t remember yesterday. You’re suffering from acute lung cancer, too that explains the little oxygen tank you carry and a tube connected to your nostrils.”

“You have a friend named Saac who now lives on the fifth floor and brings you breakfast everyday.” A knock on the door was heard and she strives to walk towards the door with the tank right behind her. Opening it, she was greeted by the sight of a man who she recognizes as Saac, her best friend.

“Had a good night sleep?” he beamed and stepped forward to enter the room. Freya followed him while nodding, “Pretty much. Can’t remember what happened yesterday,” voice hoarse, obviously because it was the first time she opened her mouth that day. Saac looked back at her and shot her a confused look, “What do you mean you can’t remember anything? You have short-term memory loss,” he rolled his eyes right after he finished and opened the basket he was holding. The words from Isaac’s mouth rung in Freya’s ears like the sound of despair.

The bitter words were familiar because she’s heard it a thousand times and perhaps, it was nothing but the truth.

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Freya had just finished her medical check-up. ‘It seems like déjà vu’, she thought when bits of memory where struggling to escape. Earlier, they were driving by a street when she looks at a familiar building and then she slightly saw evening, and she was smiling with a guy. Now they had stopped in front of a house that Freya could not tell if it is something she had been. The couple inside greeted her as if they had known her. ‘Do they know me?’ She and Saac had descended in what seemed like a basement that was a room. She swore she remembered there were trophies in the shelf or were they broken? “Counter Insurgence”, she muttered as she picked up the book from the table. His voice echoed in her mind but she could not remember.

Saac had drove her to a place which is called “Funky Bones”. Now that little spark Freya could remember. Saac stated he wanted to be there and that Freya had been here, which confused her. And when he told her to look at her father’s part of the novel, the letter she kept reading which had memory, she saw another letter. And she thought she swore that there was one. She opened it and read as quotes appeared.

I think the book is missing its last two pages. Needs to reconsider some additions.

I put the killing between my teeth. But I didn’t give it the power to kill. It’s a metaphor.

I see you have cracked the code. I’m sorry. I did not know how to get your attention.

As long as you agree to dare yourself to date me

Well she is; but I’m not

This is your chance Freya Lancey

But what caught her attention was,

You’re beautiful

If miracles could happen, then it just did. It was as if her brain was suddenly back in its senses as vivid images appeared. She now remembered Funky Bones. The novel, Imperial Affliction, which she kept reading; and the experience of meeting the author, Peter van Houten (whom she had later learned had died a week after his visit). She remembered the feeling of gasping when her lungs would have fluids. And most importantly, she remembered her first kiss and she suddenly felt her lips being touched just yesterday. Freya now knew the guy, whose voice will never leave her head. She remembered his face, it was like a hot super model from amidst the crowd. And his name was

Guston Waterson.

When Freya asked Saac about him, he wanted to lock himself up in the familiar basement, the one whose owner is no longer around.

“After that car accident, the three of us were severe. But he…..” Saac shakily said.

“He had a month but you had a year and woke up.”

Freya was wondering if this is real. And now she doesn’t know why tears were shedding on her face.

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