HYACINTH
- Girl Crush
- Jan 23, 2019
- 14 min read
by: Natasia Alferez, Rodlyn Jane Mendoza, Mary Jane Salmeron, and Jamaica Lore Gabato
[ An adaptation of Hyacinthus and Apollo ]
Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still—
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Spring break wasn’t particularly exciting for Music student, Will Price. It’s not like his parents are going to celebrate it anyway; they’re divorced 5 years and both of them have started their own families. Will’s father had taken custody of him but Will had never seemed to be welcomed to his new family.
No, they weren’t rude or disrespectful like some typical cliché step-family written in a fan fiction. They were very welcoming actually, but he just can’t seem to find comfort in their presence. They are mere strangers to him; strangers who live under the same roof as Will.
This Spring break, they invited Will to come with them to Austria, where they’ll be staying for a few weeks. He really didn’t want to spend the rest of his break talking to people he didn’t really know, and because of that he decided to stay in his dorms. That is until Ava White invited him to visit her family in Oklahoma.
He wouldn’t call Ava his close friend, but a friend nonetheless. To be frank, Ava was always the one to approach him every after class, and every time he’s alone, she always seems to find him and keep him company. She always seems to stick to his hip no matter what, until he finally got used to it. Their hangout sessions always consisted of Ava talking his ear off about her day but it’s okay, at least she doesn’t pressure him to talk if he doesn’t want to.
Ava had always been understanding with him; she understands if he wouldn’t reply, she understands if sometimes he wouldn’t look at her. But Will wasn’t stupid, he could tell Ava clearly harboured feelings for him. It was clear whenever she tries to hold his arm when he’s walking, or when she tries to take care of him when he’s sick from practicing too much.
He’s grateful, really, he just can’t seem to return the feelings. And he knows he wouldn’t be able to.
When she invited him to spend his spring break with her family, he knew that it was only because she wanted to spend time with him.
Now, Will wasn’t a douchebag, no matter how much his clothing and vibe make him out to be. As much as he wanted to decline her offer, he knew he couldn’t do it. He hated hurting people.
That’s how he ends up standing in front a suburban house at six in the evening with his timberlands littered with grass. The house looked nothing out of the ordinary; it was a two-story house with large windows lined on each floor, a chimney could be seen on top of the roof and beside the house was a large garage. He could see silhouettes moving around through the windows as if they’re moving in a hurry.
“Let’s go?” Ava whispers, grabbing her luggage and his arms as she drags them towards the front door.
The first person who greeted them was her mother. She welcomed them with warm smile and hugs, “Welcome back, honey! I see you’ve bought your friend over here for your break,” she subtly winks at her.
Ava giggles as she tightens her hold on his bicep, her face becoming redder by the second, “Mom stop it; we are only friends!”
“Oh honey, I’m just joking,” her mother giggles, “Why don’t you come inside while I make dinner, yeah? You two must be freezing with all the wind on your way here.”
“Thanks Mrs. White,” says Will, shifting uncomfortably under her gaze.
Really, he couldn’t even feel more uncomfortable with all the stares he’s getting once he gets inside. There were a lot of people, like a lot. There were kids playing around the carpet, some teenagers (probably high schoolers) lounging on the couch with their phones on their hands and adults walking around the house with their wine.
In a flash, the adults started flocking him with questions about their current relationship; questions that made him extremely uneasy with their close proximity. Thankfully, Ava managed to calm them down and give them both space to breathe.
“Uh…Auntie, why don’t you give him some space? I’m sure he’s a bit overwhelmed with all your questions. I’m going to get him to room and let him unpack while you stay here and enjoy your wine, yeah? Okay thanks.”
With that, she drags him upstairs to the last room on the hall, all while laying her head down low.
Once they arrived, they immediately started unpacking Will’s luggage, all while Ava constantly apologizes for her family’s behaviour. Even though Will indeed felt uncomfortable with what happened, he still forgives Ava and says,
“It’s fine, Ava. I-I know relatives tend to act all crazy when there’s a visitor,” Will chuckles.
“But still, it was embarrassing,” pouts Ava, “Anyway, mom should be done cooking right now. Let’s head downstairs, I want to introduce you to my cousins.”
+ + +
Meeting the cousins was (thankfully) nothing out of the ordinary, most of them were either on their phones or just not really interested. Some of them had welcomed him warmly while others only greeted him with a nod.
Well, that was far better from his encounter with her aunts, though. He can take it.
After dinner, Ava and Will headed towards the guest room to do their homework and their school project, which was composing a song with the theme “intimacy”, it’s cliché, Will has to admit, that’s why Ava was the one who had to compose the lyrics. Once again, Ava did most of the talking, rambling off about something that had happened while Will adjusts the tuning of his guitar.
They continued making the beats and background instruments for a few hours before heading off to bed. Which to no one’s surprise, Will ends up staying wide awake until one in the morning. He has always had a hard time sleeping in new places and kept moving and tossing around which eventually led him to getting out of bed and outside of the house.
Surprisingly, there was a plethora of beautiful flowers in their backyard. There were roses, dahlia, lilies, chrysanthemum, freesia, larkspur, hyacinths and a lot more. Underneath the pale street light, he could see just how beautifully the flowers glisten against the dark sky. The cold winds of February whisking against them, causing them to lightly brush against each other. He was so caught up with the beauty that he didn’t notice the sounds of feet stepping unto the grass.
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” a deep, velvety voice interrupts him.
Will whipped his head towards the sound and sees a young man, about his age, standing in front of him with hands hidden in his pajamas.
He was—beautiful.
He could feel his cheeks start to burn as he takes in the features the young man possess: hazel almond eyes with thick lashes fluttering against his cheeks perhaps, his cute little button nose and rosy lips, freckles littered beautifully across his face and his soft jawline. His hair wasn’t styled in a particular way, but the way it just softly bounces against his forehead—Will was speechless.
After a few seconds of him just staring at the other, he interrupts his thoughts, “I planted them myself. My family visits here a lot so I took the role of taking care of their flowers since they have no time.”
“I’m James Miller, by the way, Ava’s cousin,” he says handing out his hand.
Will takes his hand, “I’m William Price or Will for short. I’m—“
“Ava’s friend, yeah, everyone pretty much knows you.” James chuckles.
“What? Why?”
“Because Ava talks a lot about you—if anything, you’re all she talks about,” he smiles, “It gets tiring, no offense, but I’m not really interested in the way your ‘hair shines underneath the moonlight’ or your ‘sparkling doe eyes as he gazes on you’.”
Will laughs, “Oh…I—I’m really sorry about that. Ava’s always been rather…talkative, even when we’re hanging out.”
“Yeah she is,” James chuckles, “So what are you doing out here at exactly—“He looks at his watch, “—one twenty-eight in the morning?”
“Oh um, I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep whenever I’m new at a place so I had to go outside for some fresh air,” Will replies, “You?”
James sighs, “Night owl. Besides, night is the only time I get to be alone and just appreciate nature, you know? I know it sounds lame but I just like flowers and plants, you know, just taking care of them and watch them grow into these beautiful and colourful flowers.”
“Wanna go to a treehouse? Ava’s dad built it for us for when we would play when we were kids,” says James, “It’s really high up the tree so you can really feel the breeze.”
James smiles warmly at him before grabbing Will’s arm and dragging him towards a large tree.
The house was simple but big; it was made out of wood and it had a terrace connected to the stairs and at the back of the terrace was a small house with one door and two windows. It was a bit rusty and there were muds in the corners and leaves scattered all around the floor, but it was beautiful, nonetheless.
They sat on the terrace in silence, just taking in the view and cool breeze.
“So, how exactly did you and Ava meet?” asks James.
“It wasn’t anything special, really,” Will starts, “I didn’t hang out with anyone since most of my friends go to another university and she just kind of followed me around until I just sort of acknowledged her presence? God I sound like a douchebag.”
James laughs—a beautiful melody Will might add, “It’s fine. It wasn’t really that much of a surprise considering how stubborn she really is.”
“It’s my turn to ask now, how come you always come here? Do you live together or—?”
“Oh her mom and my mom are siblings and I guess they’re still stuck to each others hip. My mother had always loved planting and growing fruits and Ava’s mom wasn’t, so every time we’d come here, mom would always scold her how ‘unsightly’ her backyard is,” James chuckles, “My family owns a farm by the way, down the countryside of Oklahoma. So my mom taught me and my little brother and sister to farm and grow plants and I guess…I enjoyed it.”
“Huh,” says Will, “How old are you?”
“Are we playing 20 questions?”
“No, I’m just—curious, is all. You look very young.”
“I’m 22,” replies James, chuckling slightly at Will’s surprised face.
“I’m 20, so that makes you older than me,” says Will, “What course are you taking?”
James frowns slightly, “Oh…I didn’t go to college.”
Well that just ruined the atmosphere, Will didn’t mean to touch a sensitive subject.
“Oh,” says Will and there was a pause, “I—I’m sorry if I was insensitive—“
“No, it’s fine. It’s just, I know you don’t know me that well so it’s fine,” James pauses, “I didn’t go to college because it was too expensive for my mom and dad. They’re just farmers, you know? They still needed to pay for my siblings’ education, they’re still in primary school and as the eldest child, I have the responsibility to take care of them. I’m working as a farmer for now.”
“That’s really…brave of you,” says Will, “Sacrificing your dreams for your family. I don’t think I would’ve done that for them.”
With that James furrows his eyebrows, “Why? Aren’t they your family?”
Will shook his head, “My parents divorced a couple of years ago and I’m staying with my dad right now. Both have their own families but I don’t really feel…comfortable with my new family.”
James says, “Oh…I’m sorry—“
“No, it’s fine. But enough with my sob story,” Will rolls his eyes, “I want to know more about you.”
James laughs, pink cheeks adorning his face before continuing, “Well, even if I did take college, I would’ve taken any course related to farming or plants. Probably Agricultural Business or Horticulture. I’m satisfied with my life, I love planting and I’m just living out my life.” He turns to Will, “What about you? You’re a music major, right?”
“Yeah, I love music,” Will chuckles, suddenly remembering his memories when he was younger, “I also minor in dance though, I’ve been dancing since I was twelve and kind of fell in love with it I guess.”
James hums, “What instruments do you play?”
“I play a lot of instruments: violin, guitar, flute, drums and surprisingly lyre, like…you know, the Greek God Apollo carries around.”
James laughs and rolls his eyes, “Yeah I know who Apollo is,”
They smile to each other, staring intently at each other’s eyes and deep down, they knew it was a start of something new. They stayed like that for a couple of hours, talking and staring at each other, sharing their stories. They end up sharing their embarrassing stories that made them laugh until their stomachs hurt, which was surprising since they only met. But they didn’t care, for now, it was the two of them only.
After that, they began hanging around a lot. Even in the morning, James would visit Will at his room and listen to him singing or playing instruments. Sometimes, he joins Will and Ava in their music recording and even try to play with some of the instruments.
Every night they go to the treehouse to talk about almost anything.
James was easy to talk to, he didn’t ramble about random things, he listens intently to what Will has to say since he found out Will doesn’t talk much to other people. James was fresh; he was like the sweet scent of morning dew you smell every morning, he was like the breeze and scent of salt water when you stand near the ocean. He was unlike anyone Will has ever met.
He was so sweet and caring, yet so stubborn and strong. He likes it when he’s praised, he adorns this cute pink blush whenever you compliment him; he was so confident yet so shy. James liked to listen to any of Will’s song and does not hesitate to give feedback; never fails to compliment Will and tells him how much he has improved.
James, Will discovers, likes skinship.
A few days after their first rendezvous, they had several meet ups in the treehouse and every night they seem to slowly get closer and closer to each other. From little hand touches to hand holding to cuddling.
“Hey, will you still visit me next spring break?” James asks, looking up to Will, who was fiddling with his fingers. His back was currently against Will’s chest, their legs tangled together.
“No,” There was a pause and Will could feel James tense in his arms, “I’m going to visit you again this summer,” Will continues, laughing at James’ reactions. James immediately deflates and hits his chest, “Don’t do that, you’re going to cause me some heart attack.”
Will laughs out loudly, “I’m sorry, baby.” He says, kissing his temple gently while tightening his hold on James.
James huffs, burying his face into Will’s neck, hiding his blushing. He pauses before taking out his hands and instantly intertwined his fingers with Will’s. He could feel Will’s smile widening against his hair and with that, he closes his eyes and sighs slightly, taking in the moment they are in.
Outside their happy bubble was a pair of eyes staring right back at their figures.
Ava wasn’t dumb, she knew there was something going on the moment the second day of Will’s visit came. The two were suddenly closer, closer than Ava has been with Will. They had their little inside jokes that Ava didn’t even get, they shared smiles when they thought no one was looking. And it was unfair, Ava has been friends with Will for two years now and James for only a few days yet James seems to know more about Will than Ava does.
She thought he just didn’t like talking much, but seeing them now, talking mindlessly as if they had all the time in the world.
The sight of it made something flicker inside Ava. Her stomach churning just looking at the two them; she knew it was not a good sign. The feeling was all too familiar, the feeling of sudden possessiveness of something that’s not even yours.
Before she could even do something she’d regret, she turned away and went to bed, despite knowing she wouldn’t even get a wink of sleep.
The next few days, she spent mostly glaring at their constant interactions. She couldn’t help it, the gnawing feeling of just losing something she knew she wasn’t even hers just kept her from thinking rationally. Ava had to find ways to get over that feeling and because of that, every night she’d start drinking
Drinking for countless hours all by herself, always muttering the same words, “That should’ve been me…”
Each day it gets worse until the final straw of her moping. It was at around three in the afternoon, Ava had been drinking since one and she had been muttering and standing all afternoon by the sink, with the shot glass on her hand. It was nothing out of the ordinary, until James entered the kitchen to get himself a glass of water.
“YOU!” She yells, “YOU SON OF A WENCH!” She grabs him by the arm and starts punching and kicking him everywhere. “It was all perfect until you came into the picture!”
She yells once again, her fiery eyes staring at his with deep utter hatred and jealousy. She took satisfaction with how his whole body shook and he stares right back at hers with fear in his eyes.
“A-Ava, what are you d-doing?! STOP—STOP! AVA! AVA, NO—”
Ava didn’t completely comprehend what was happening until she felt something warm and thick flowing down her arms. She looks down and saw the red liquid dribble against her pale skin and she instantly feels cold. Ava looks up at his face and screams when she stares at the cold, lifeless eyes, staring at her.
She had stabbed him…she had stabbed him with the shot glass that she had somehow broken. Ava could see the glass digging into her skin but she couldn’t feel any pain. She was numb—shaking violently as she takes in what just happened.
With that, both she and the now dead body thump against the cold hard floor. She starts screaming, sobbing and thrashing uncontrollably. She couldn’t see anything, couldn’t feel or hear anything. All she knew was that she had become a murder.
A murderer.
Eventually, the screaming catches everyone’s attention, immediately flocking towards the kitchen. Screams begun erupting as they take in the scene in front of them.
The first one to move was Will; he was immediately crouching against James’ side, sobbing and screaming uncontrollably, yelling James’ name and for James to wake up. His eyes couldn’t even be seen as tears began flowing down wildly against his cheeks.
He buries his face on James’ neck, not caring how the blood smearing his cheeks.
“James! JAMES! WAKE UP, PLEASE WAKE UP!”
He suddenly turns to Ava slowly, looking down at the glass stained with blood in her hands. It only took a few milliseconds for Will to comprehend what happened before he jumped at Ava, screaming right at her face and grabbing the collar of her shirt, thrashing her around.
“YOU! YOU DID THIS DIDN’T YOU?!” He yells, “YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF CRAP! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, HUH? HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU! YOU’RE A MURDERER, YOU PIECE OF SH—“
Ava couldn’t hear anything, there was only ringing in her eyes as she stares at Will’s screaming face. She could see her Uncles trying to pull Will from her but she couldn’t focus on anything. The only thing in her mind was the constant chanting of
Murderer… Murderer… Murderer…
Before she blacks out.
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It was cold.
Not like he can feel it, though.
He hasn’t been able to feel anything at all, ever since that day. He can’t feel the cold breeze brushing against his skin, the cold rain drops dripping on his face. He can’t feel them. It felt like his body had completely shut down; as if his entire body had become a void, just—
Empty.
All he could focus was the stone that lied in front of him. The edges around it was rough—little pieces of the stone had been scraped off, mud stains splattered all over the writings, yet the flowers around still seemed so alive, colourful and bright.
Huh, how ironic.
He can’t help but stare at the intricate writings carved on the stone.
Here lies
James Miller July 12 1993—December 31 2016
He stares at it wordlessly before dropping to his knees to lay the flowers against the headstone. With cold fingers, he takes a flower one by one and arranged them accordingly around the stone.
Hyacinth.
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“Out of all the flowers, which one is your favourite” Will had asked,
“Hmm…Hyacinth, probably. Each color of Hyacinths have a different meaning, you know? Constancy, sorrow, play, prayer and a lot more. Plus, it was named after the Hyancinthus, the male mortal lover of Apollo. It has a nice ring to it, right? Like homosexual relationships were at least acknowledged centuries ago.”
“Mhm, so I’m Apollo?” Will asks, grinning. James giggles and nods, “And I’m Hyacinthus.”
They look at each other lovingly before closing the distance between, moulding their lips into one.
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Ava was sent to jail after the murder, charged with homicide and sentenced to 25 years in prison. Will spent months trying to recover after James’ death, staying in his room all day without eating and everyday he would go to James’ tombstone to decorate it with his favourite flowers, Hyacinths and tells him he still loves him no matter what.
Today was one of those days.
He takes out a piece of cloth and began to wipe away the splattered mud; making sure to get every nook and cranny. He then sighs and gets up from the ground and whispers, “The world doesn’t deserve you, James. I love you.”
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“The strain of time tore us apart, It’s not what we want, but it’s where we are.” — Hayley Warner, Closure
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